If My Children Made a List – Torture Tactics

Spending as much time as I do with young children, I occasionally wonder what they would do in certain situations. You know, like if a toddler worked at some corporate office, or if a preschooler was a professional athlete.

Well, today I was imagining what my children would do if they were secret agents had to torture someone for information. Crazy, I know. But this list is pretty funny!

Spoon-feeding pureed food. Because nothing says “torture” than providing nutrition!

Diaper changes. Seriously. You’d think babies would WANT that mess cleaned up!

Getting dressed. This is like diapering, but worse. And let’s not even mention socks and shoes!

Taking a bath. It’s torture to get them in the tub, and torture to get them back out!

Cleaning their noses. Or any mess on their faces. They act like if you wipe hard enough, their nose will wipe off too!

Sitting still. The only time my children stay still is when they’re strapped down by the 5-point harness in the car seat. And even then, they wriggle like worms…

Nap time. They’ll regret this one day, when they’re too old for naps. That’s when they realize how great it really is!

Funny how some of these things would be welcomed by the typical prisoner (maybe not the diaper thing, but most people enjoy being clean, fed, warm and well rested!). Ha!

Oh well. One day they’ll understand. 😉


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